The Absurdity of Beowulf

I just got back from seeing "Beowulf" in Real 3D. First things first: The 3D was spot on and wonderful to behold. It's getting to the point that I'll have to stop commenting on the 3D at length since it seems damn near impossible to goof it up with these new systems. I will state that, if you go and see this film, see it in 3D, 'cause there won't be much else to recommend.

The biggest problem with "Beowulf" is in it's presentation. It's a film made with flesh and blood actors, but no flesh and blood actors appear on screen. Huh? Wha? That's right, kiddies. "Beowulf" features computer rendered versions of it's actors. It's not a good choice of visual style, since computer renderings of humans have never been able to get things completely right. With great, rare exception, facial expressions hardly ever come across as genuine. Facial inflections are gone and mouth movements are never convincing. What's left is sort of an enhanced version of animatronic robots from Disney Theme Park rides. The actor's voices are there, but their digitised counterparts are hollow. The overall look and feel is like one big video game cut scene. Seriously, that "Final Fantasy" CGI movie had a more convincing look.

The first half of the movie is ripe with, I believe, unintentional laughs. Beowulf disrobes down to complete nakedness in preparation to fight Grendel and what follows is a series of carefully placed camera angels and props obscuring his manhood that would've made Mike Meyers' shudder in disbelief. Beowulf disrobes later in the film, too, to scare the bejesus out of an enemy soldier. By this time in the film, I thought he was acting more like an intense Chippendale's dancer than a Mythical hero.

The Action sequences are also laughably executed. Sam Raimi should sue for plagiarism for all of the swooshing cameras and "Evil Dead" like visual touches present here. In fact, it's sub Raimi. It's more TV's Xena than anything else. Grendel also takes on a visual interpretation of one of the shriveled, Yin-deprived undead in the original "A Chinese Ghost Story". A little too much influence by writers Neil Gaimen and Roger Avary, maybe??? What I'm saying here is, though digitally clean, the effects and action are strictly 80's, folks, only Sam Raimi and Ching Siu-Tung did it better since they did it with real world, tangible effects.

Of course, the plot is standard and by the numbers (what would you expect from a Centuries old story?), though the plot angle of the old world multi deity Religions being tossed in favor of Christianity is a semi fresh touch. The film doesn't seem to be a big fan of JC, however. A cross thrust into the face of a golden hellspawn doesn't do any good at all.

Thing start to roll better in the second half, with Beowulf's shady dealing with Grendel's mother coming home to roost. A word about Angelina Jolie's character here. Her digital doppelganger is good as the Demon Mother, but really isn't given much to do except to stand alluringly naked with gold covering up her best bits. It's all rendered anyway, so any titillation that might have been had was completely erased from my psyche.

The final battle with Beowulf hanging on to his son-turned-dragon has a few good moments, but it's all struck down with some serious "Aw, come on!" moments that had me stifling hard laughter throughout the climax. My favorite LOL scene in the climax is the part where he can't reach the Dragon's heart with his sword, so he severs his left arm at the shoulder, accidentally drops his sword and succeeds in tearing the Dragon's heart out with his right hand(!). Read that one a few times before going on. I'm sorry, but... if I can't reach into a hole with my right arm and spear something with a sword, a LONG SWORD, how in the hell am I going to be able to grab it by severing my LEFT arm at the shoulder???

Movies, I guess. Only in the movies. Well, I can't be too critical of it since the 2 hour running time flew by fairly quickly, but I can't really recommend it, either. If it's not taken seriously and you get to see it in 3D, then you'll have a good time. I think there are other movies out now that deserve your attention much more, however.

The 3D revolution... again.

This is FABULOUS! I'm a major fan and supporter of 3D movies and this news is mindbogglingly great. It's the first time since the 1950s that a MAJOR STUDIO has made a commitment liks this. DreamWorks Animation has commited to having all of it's animated features released in 3D by 2009!

Here is the article (LINK) :

DreamWorks going 3-D in 2009
Studio to produce two versions of 'Aliens'

By BEN FRITZ

DreamWorks Animation is joining the digital 3-D
wave.
Studio plans to release all its pics in 3-D starting in 2009. That should give a major boost to the fledgling technology now available on just a few hundred digital cinema screens.

New digital 3-D exhibition process, enabled largely by technology company Real D, has been gaining significant interest in Hollywood recently. Fox will release the James Cameron-helmed "Avatar" in 3-D in 2009, and Disney will put "Meet the Robinsons" on about 600 digital 3-D screens this month.

DreamWorks Animation CEO Jeffrey Katzenberg said the studio considered adding 3-D effects to some of its 2007 and 2008 releases but wanted to produce pics with the new exhib process in mind from the outset.

"We have not really been enthusiastic about turning 2-D into 3-D in
post-production," Katzenberg said, referring to the way 3-D effects have been added to pics thus far. "It doesn't begin to touch the quality of product that is originated in 3-D."

DWA summer 2009 release "Monsters vs. Aliens" starts production this spring and will be made with 3-D in mind from the outset. Studio will produce two versions, with a standard version for nondigital screens, DVD and TV.

By waiting until 2009, studio will also benefit from a significantly higher availability of 3-D enabled digital screens. "By that time, I think that in domestic markets we will be able to release a film entirely in 3-D," said Jim Tharp, prexy of domestic distribution for Paramount, which releases DreamWorks Animation pics.

There are just over 500 digital 3-D screens in the U.S., but that's expected to expand to several thousand by 2009. While the studio is counting on its movies to be available exclusively in 3-D in the U.S., foreign markets will likely still be installing digital cinema systems, which are required for the new 3-D process.

Katzenberg will be discussing the studio's 3-D plans with exhibitors this week at ShoWest. Many in the exhibition industry have been getting excited about digital 3-D as a way to differentiate cinemas from home theater systems. In addition, many exhibs have been charging $1 or $2 more for 3-D films.

"This is the first thing I've ever seen that is an actual opportunity for the movie business to become something completely new and unreplicatable at home," observed Katzenberg.

He said production costs on DreamWorks toons will go up, but he's confident his studio will make up for it with added revenue.

After "Robinsons," next pic released on some 3-D screens will be Par's "Beowulf" this fall.

In 2008, New Line will release "Journey 3-D," the first live-action pic produced exclusively for the new technology. Disney is also expected to release most of its future toons in digital 3-D, though the studio hasn't announced any definite plans beyond "Robinsons."

DreamWorks has hired Jason Clark, an exec producer on Sony's 3-D toon "Monster House," to head up its 3-D efforts along with Jim Mainard, the studio's head of research and development. It has also tapped Phil McNally, who did 3-D work on Disney's "Chicken Little" and "Meet the Robinsons," to oversee 3-D for "Monsters vs. Aliens."

Now, of course, a lot of this is hyperbolie. We got execs talking like 3D movies are a brand new thing when it's over a century old and it is replicable in the home with Shutter glasses and Field sequential media (on CRT televisions... there are already systems for viewing on HDTV systems out there, too). Thing is, it's very exciting and with New Line making a Live Action 3D film for this "new" System, well, the next 3 years are going to be a 3D fans dream... until cost cutting, greed and substandard product kill it for another 20 -30 years in the mainstream.